Haih~

Oh well.....heh finally they found out. From me. Yeah.....i asked one of them whether the internal marks are out or not.....then well she told me that the four of us didnt get marks for the group project. Heh i swear my heart was beatin so fast that i cudnt concentrate on wot she was saying. All i know that she was saying sumthin bout mebbe ms lau wanted to meet us or sumthin. Well but I was afraid she might ask ms lau why n stuff. N i didnt want her to find out from ms lau...i prefer if she knows why from me. So i told her what might be the reason that our marks was not out. Yup like what i expected. She was not happy. At least she didnt sound happy. But being me, i told her that i was sorry bout it becoz i was really tensed that day n when im tensed....u'll never know what i am capable of doing. So then she sed dat she n her other grp mates will go see ms lau. I cudnt stop thinkin what they might say. They suddenly one of them sent a msg saying that i know that they contributed sumthing and i cannot blame her if she's mad at me. Since when i sed that they didnt contribute anything? I thought i told her that u guys didnt contribute much...which means u guys did contributed sumthin. Oh gosh....they didnt know what i really sed to ms lau. They thought i told her that they didnt contribute anything!!! Shoot, its not good feelin to know that sumone's definately gonna talk bad bout u. But i know they will anyway. Well i apologized to them again n again for so many times coz i dont want becoz of this they dont want to talk to me again.

Anyway when i arrived at uni, i went to see ms lau. N i found out that the reason why she didnt post it up was becoz she juz recieved the report this mornin. N the email has nothing to do with it. I was like...bummer....n they thought it was becoz of the email. So i msged them saying that it's all over n that we still get the marks. But i have a feeling that they're not happy. So i called them. Yup can tell that they're disspointed. Even tho they say that it's all right (in a sooo low tone) but well....i still can feel that they're mad at me. They have lost their trust in me. I wanted them to approach me face to face n to settle eveything. I wasnt scared coz i know what i did. N i wanted to tell them so badly that if it wasnt for me....our project will never be done. I wanted each of them to tell ms lau what they did for the project and where they got it from if they're not satisfied with what i told ms lau. I juz want them to appreciate what i did for them. That's all that im asking from them. Not getting mad at me for telling ms lau the truth. I didnt write that email so that i can get marks for myself. I wrote that email so that all of us can get marks. Everyone will get the same marks anyhow. N if they still call me selfish...well i juz want them to tell me....who was more care less about this project, who was not being committed to this project, who depended on who to finish everything up and who spent more time on this project.

If they can still remember....they told me that i dont have to the the book report becoz i helped with the presentation slides. Well if i told them that they're suppose to do the book when i was told to help with the book kan....i think they wont be able to finish the project for sure. How wud they feel if they're in my position. Like putting a lot of work and effort on the project juz to see that u'll get the same marks as yur grp member? If i know that ill pass this unit...i wudnt care if she didnt mark the thing...coz even if she didnt mark it...i'd still pass anyway. I oso wudnt care if i have to do eveything and passed the project up b4 due time. Sigh...even after that....i had to apologize to them for that email thing. I even told my mom bout it. Well she was the reason why i sent that email actually. Heh. Well my mom sed that i was not suppose to apologize n that they shud instead. My mom even sed to hell with them. Wow. Hahaha but im not like that. I like to apologize if i feel bad abt sumthin. Im a person who hates to lose a fren.

Well if u guys happened to hear rumors bout me being a bitch or anything well....well heh...u guys know the truth. I have a feelin that they will talk or tell ppl bout it. Not that im saying that they like to gossip la but knowing them...they'll probably talk bout ppl who annoys them or mess about with their life. But i dont care bout that. I know im right and ive got nothing to hide. I have the proof with me. I still have the stuff that i did. They dont have any copy of it so...muhuhahahah! Anyway i juz recieved a msg from the only guy hu's in our group. Well he didnt know wot happened and why i was i apologizing to him. So i called him n told him the truth. Well, at least he understands...and he even admitted it that he didnt really do much. I even told him to help clarify things with the gurls coz they might not understand me yet. So there. If the gurls are still not satisfied with me....they can come n see me personally. I have nothing against them really. I juz want us all to be frens again and forget bout the past. We humans tend to make mistakes. But if they dont want to forgive me....well what can i do...heh...i'll still think their my frens anyway coz i dont have enemies and i dont like making one.

Well hahaha....dats basically wots on my mind today. Umm today i watched a movie called Good Company juz now. But cannot concentrate lah. Was thinking bout that chemistry thing the whole time. Honestly i was more worried about losing a fren then to obtain marks which will determine my life in the future. What ever i was thinking last friday is not the same like today becoz im not mad at them anymore. Like i sed....i dont do revenges....nobody is in my black book coz im a person who forgives n forget.....=)

Okaylah....thx for reading till the end. U guys got nothing better to do huh? Heh heh....okie then...till next time....dinner's waiting...tatata!

Gahh~! The attack of Pusyak~!

Harlo....gee why does it have to rain everynite....cold ba....i cant study wen its cold, i cant sleep when its cold......guess i juz cant do anythin wen its cold..the last coldest place that i went was Ooty....sumwhere on a hilltop in India..that place was so damn cold that i cud barely move....it was feezing up there....tee hee..i cudnt take a shower the whole time i was there coz the heater that they provided didnt work...it hurts everytime i brush my teeth coz the water was s-s-s-ooooo c-c-c-old~!!! My leg was numb and every move i made was painful....but i dont mind going back there coz the stuff there are so cheap!!!!!

Oh ya anyway.....pusyak didnt eat her kittens!!! I juz saw them this mornin and eeeeee~~~! They're sho adorable n sho cute! There are 5 of em...two orange kittens, one black n white, one charlie chaplin look-alike (coz got black spot underneath its nose n it looks like a moustache..n becoz of that im gonna call it chaplin! hahaha!) and one who has a cow skin...white body with black spots....I did take a few shots of them but not clear....:( I'll juz post them anyway....anyway here they are....

There there there...one of da orange ones...the other one shy2....

Pusyak: Yo...this is da easiest way to get rid of yur nose shit y'all...

Pusyak: Hmm...where did they come from.....are those mine?

Pusyak: Yeah...im a motha of five...n im still sexy...

SPLAT!

Had a f***kin bad day...

Dat's it...im gonna fail chemistry 4 sure....this is why i dislike group project. Well actually i was so pissed and fed up 30 mins ago....if i were to blog juz now...definately there'll be lotsa **** words...but i tried to calm myself down b4 doing so. Heh yknow wot i cried on the way home....i even cried at skool juz now...in the toilet la.... I dont think i ever cried bcoz of this b4...heck i dont cry easily...i even broke a toilet handle juz now....hehehe...yea i was mad...i was really really mad n its so not me to get mad. I've never been so angry for so long. I hate it when ppl depend on me too much. I wish i can juz voice out my feelings to them in person.

Okay this is the story. Today is last day to submit our chem project report. First, me and my otha grpmate did most of the slides on the presentation. Come to think of it....i think i did more than her....anyway then i was told that the others who didnt contribute much will do the report. Okay...fine. Then the next day, i called to ask how's the progress of the report. And guess what? Havent do yet. So okay...still got 2 more days. Then the next day, i was told to do acknowledgement, conclusion, recommendation and waste management in miri and that they will do the rest. Altho i was a bit dissapointed, i did them anyway. Dahlah i have prob with the marketing manager of waste management. He told us that he has the company profile n all. And juz this mornin (after having trouble contacting him for the past two weeks) he gave me a cd saying that eveything about his company is in there. So okay....went back home happily then when i checked to see wots inside n i was like F**K!!! That stupid baboon head!! All he gave me was pics of trucks which he took from a book. No company profile. No history. Not a single word written in dat CD. May all the shit be with you, you peanut butter with no bread you!! Okay im not good with dirty words....im juz...u know...i cant show my anger infront of ppl...but i was hurt. I cant turn to anyone. No one can help me. All my other groupmates told me to juz crap. But i cant JUZ bullshit when it has sumthin to do with a company. Then i remembered that we have to do the references. So i asked them to help me typed it out coz i was still figuring out what to do with the profile n history thing. But they didnt reply my msg. N i cudnt get thru their fones. So I panicked coz time was running out!

Sigh.....so i did the references too...then after i did all my part i quickly rushed to skool hoping that they have the rest of the work printed out. But it turned out that they havent print anythin out and they were waiting for me at the lab to do the table of contents. They said that they cant do it wihout the other information which i have. I was like what the? Cant you juz type first then we can edit later? Ini tak....nothing! Then i found out that the ones they did doesnt differ from the ones in the slides. They juz basically copy paste from the website that i gave them n juz elaborate a lil. Then i found out that they didnt do the importance of waste management and also they didnt mention the reason why we are doing this research. All they did was Types of waste and Techniques of waste. Which is juz a copy n paste thing!!! So when i asked who will do the importance thing...guess who was chosen to do it? Yah me! And the reason was that they thought i was suppose to do it and that they have to finish doing maths. For crying out loud! We only have 20 mins left!!! Please help me at least a bit u guys!!! You guys can pass maths for sure! And one signature of that maths work is like what....only 0.4 marks!!! You guys got more than half of it but...chem project = 20%!!!!!!!!!!!!! WAY more than maths!!!Then when i asked bout the table of contents, they sed, aiyah no need to do lah. -_-" You shud see the reaction on my face. I feel like its me doing all the stuff and me being fooled by them. So yea i did the importance thing too. So i was really exhausted from running around then i asked one of them for a favour to go n bind coz my petrol was empty n all. N guess what....they told me that i can take my time to send that thing...plus they still havent finish maths....what the hell!? I panicked like an idiot n they were all so relaxed!!! But being me...i cant get mad at ppl face to face....i juz cant....

So then i went to the binding shop near dps. OMG! Long queue....n only 10 mins left. Huhuhu! I knew it. Memang tak sempat. I left the shop 10 mins later and arrived at da chem lec's cubical at 5.12pm. To my horror, the door was locked. Ah....damn...all i cud do was juz to stare at the door knob n hoping for miracle to pass by. But i guess..its not my day today. One of me groupmates then told me to juz slide the book beneath the door n to join them at the cafe. Do i still have mood to join them after all that?? I know she will deduct our marks or even wont accept it. I fully depend on this project to pass my chemistry. N now.....sigh. I got sick bcoz of this project. I almost crashed into a car for this project. I......sigh...no use complaining. Its all over now...

Plus i juz found out that sumone took my RM80 from my room without permission. The thing is....I have no idea who took it!! My mom or dad wud ask first if they can borrow money from me. Not this way. I dont know bout my bro tho. I dun wanna accuse him without proof. Mebbe ill ask him later. But sigh....if he didnt take it then....there goes my savings to call dominic.....

I going to write an appeal letter to my chem lec now. I'll do anything to get marks for chemistry. And i mean anything. Offer me. Oh wait...okay mebbe not eveything. Hahaha! Well anyway....if u guys (my chem grpmates) happened to read this...well im sorry....im juz a human being. I dont want to be a hypocrite but that's juz how i feel. My life depends on this unit. And i dont want it to be ruined becoz of u guys. My dad spends an awful lot of money on my education. Dahlah i cant get student loan. Im not a malaysian...so i cant get student loan from malaysia. I cant get student loan from singapore either coz either one of my parents has to work there. So if i failed the supp exam......sigh....anyway even if i pass kan, i wont still be going to degree next sem. I will only start next year. Y? Coz i need to relax. I dont care bout the time factor anymore. I want to relax. Celaka u curtin ppl.....one week holiday after exam where got enuff!

I dunno whether i shud post this up o not....will it effect my frenship with them? Sigh....but....all these feelings will be gone mebbe after a few days. I easily forgive ppl......so..........yeah i forgive them, no matter wot happened. Hope they can forgive me tho. Nobody is perfect....i guess i was juz so frustrated juz now.....im juz gonna try to forget bout the whole thing n juz focus on the upcoming exams. I know God is testing me..n i always believe that everything happened for a reason. =)

Anywayz dats all for today. I wanted to tell bout the cultural night thing but haih....i had a very bad day on dat day too. Was toooooo sick!!!! Guess wot, i had fever, flu, sore throat and a headache plus halfway during my chem presentation, i had gastric...i felt like dying....and plus ive promised to participate in the dance......oh yea guess wad...me n my dance partner totally ruined everything...we started out alright but then he started to go too fast and i was like ui slow down and there we go laughing and trying to start all over again. I think throughout the whole dance, we were juz repeating the same moves and kept doing the same mistake...hahaha...and my dance parter, eldine, was like " you got to be kidding me..." hahaha...oh well...:P

Okaylah....will blog again sumtime. Tatata!

Happy burfday kim kimmy kim kim!

Heh heh heh.....guess hu's back back back, back again gain gain....wani's back back back, from the drain rain rain......

Okay dat really didnt make any sense....well um....im happy now.....dominic ish cool....i cant believe he still loves me....man...i dont think any guy shud deserve a gurl like me....hahaha....but ah...aih..headache lah....i was suppose to like send a bday e-card to kim last nite but my headache was like killing me....so...eheh sorry ah kim....well the as long as the thought counts rite? Hehehe....

Im still havin headache now tho....since yesterday....well oh yea....me, kim n greg went to watch World of the Wars.....or issit War of the Worlds. You know what kim, actually i kinda forgot bout the movie thing when u msged me. When i saw yur msg i went Oh F*** Shit!! Coz i juz got out from da bathroom wen i read yur msg. Then i read ure other msg that sed mebbe tomorro? So i was like....fuh nasib...kah kah kah....i replied her msg then i went downstairs with my baju selekeh n short pants and me mom bought for me nasi lemak from pizza heaven. When i juz had the first munch of my lunch...she then sent a msg saying that they're on the way to parkson and to meet them there. I almost choked myself when i read the msg. Lucky the movie starts at 3.30pm. It was around 2 sumthin when she sent me da msg..if im not mistaken...so i quickly finish my food then ran upstairs to find sumthin more decent to wear. So off to parkson. Which is uh...bintang plaza...eheh. But argh! So frustrating. I thought i cud like relax myself a few mins b4 de movie start but aiyoh i still had to rush to catch da movie. Why cant they build more parking spaces? Buduh! I arrived there 30 mins b4 the movie starts but i spent that whole 30 mins juz to find a parking spot. Hmph! So then i ran all the way to elevator. N fuh juz in time! The movie was juz about to start when we went in. My apologies to kim n greg for making them wait for me. Hee...dah lah i made kim wait on her bday, she belanja me again pulak tuh.

The movie was good. Not bad. It wasnt boring, that's for sure. I cant even let my heart rest. Ade je alien come n go. In my heart, throughout the movie i kept saying, "Please dont find them......please dont find them....let them live....". Those who watched da movie will know wot im toking about. Heh heh.....ill give it a 4 out of 5 for not giving me a chance to swallow my saliva.

Um after da movie we went to mcd...to tapau greg's food. At that point i was feeling a lil dizzy. Isyk this headache started after we went out from the cinema ba. But ahh... its not as bad as last night. Anyway then we went to kym's house. Hehe we all gila2 sana. Talked to kym's mom for da first tyme. Took lotsa crazy pics. Oh n kim....the tupperware catalogue is still in my car. Keh keh keh.

This is a pic of me n kim at kym's place which was taken by kym

Heh heh em....aiyah...got headache now la.....um...then after dat sent them home and watch af~!! Muhuhahaha! Well dats all for today....me wanna reply dom's email now......tatata!